Life Disclosure: I sometimes pregame with laxatives because of the amount of cheese I eat on a daily basis.

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It is why I am so cheesy when I write. 😉

I know. I know. You are reading this in full awe of how healthy my diet is.

I am fully aware it isn’t healthy, but I do it. Sound familiar?

I KNOW YOU ARE ADDICTED TO SUGAR DEBRA. Kidding. And apologies if there is a woman named Debra reading this who has been trying to lay off the cookies and is now crying herself to sleep over a bed of Twix wrappers. Mainly because if you eat Twix you must hate yourself. That candy is the worst.

Digressing. Cheese isn’t the devil, in fact it can be harmless under the right circumstances. It can be an enjoyable party up in my mouth and has fat and protein and all that jazz that my body needs. Yet if I eat an atomic butt ton of it when I shouldn’t, I won’t poop for a week- leaving my atomic butt miserable, my body in extreme pain, and my mind regretting life. (Sorry health freaks. Dairy is DELICIOUS. We only live like 85 years on average. Drink cows milk ya weird almond milkers.)

Don’t we all have cheese in our lives? Not literally, or cutting cheese… although I know everyone also does that… but metaphorical cheese.

We all struggle with earthly things that maybe under the right circumstances wouldn’t be a bad thing, but for us- in that point of our lives- they are negative.

When I was 16, I got into a relationship with a very nice boy. I assumed since the boy was nice, the relationship had to be right. He is a “nice” guy and I was a “nice” girl. Nice + nice = right. Right?

Nay. Tis’ a farce.

Over the next two years or so we became each others cheese- growing into a multi-year constipation. We brought out some of the worst aspects in each other: our insecurities, resentment, anger…etc.

It was not because either one of us were terrible people. You can be in a BAD relationship with a NICE person. We both needed growth and weren’t allowing each other to grow- drowning ourselves mentally and spiritually. Our yolks may have been equal, but now on the right grounds. Both of us needed stronger yolks in which we were not growing together.

Under these circumstances, where it seemingly could have been a great thing- it was bad. If we would have been willing/ known we needed to grow as individuals, it could have been a positive situation. But under the circumstances- with our young and stubborn hearts- it wasn’t. A field set up with the crops to be a Godly relationship quickly turned into a barren field full of crops we chose to kill. As our relationship with each other disintegrated, my relationship with God started to dwindle without my knowledge. I became judgemental as I tried to control the actions of another individual to what I deemed “Godly”, instead of focusing on what God actually wanted for both of us. I thought I was strong in my faith as ever, but I started to become judgemental, hypocritical, manipulative, and fake- using God to put another on a pedestal he should never be put on. I had my own views of what a christian “should” be and was stubborn and unmoving instead of loving and accepting.

The relationship wasn’t bad, the person wasn’t bad, but our choices caused both of us to act in a way which led to an unhealthy relationship for such a young age.

I was eating an atomic butt ton of cheese when I should have been laying off for my own health, and drinking all sorts of laxatives to justify my actions.

Isn’t this imagery beautiful?

I caused myself and others unnecessary pain. I left myself spiritually constipated.

Obviously, it did not go so well. We parted ways in an unnecessarily negative manner and left each other with a lot of lingering fears and time needed for healing.

It is not the end of the story though my friends.

God had other plans for both of us.

Although I had to learn the EXTREME hard way- oh stubborn, stubborn Brittany, I ended up learning. I ended up forgiving. I ended up healing. I ended up growing. I ended up eating more cheese, getting constipated, learning more, then growing some more. And both of us ended up happily married to other people who aid us in our growth every day.

So.

What is your cheese? What circumstances are you in that you justify with “Well, this isn’t intrinsically bad…” yet it is somehow effecting you in a negative way? Whether it is a relationship, boundaries that need to be set, a habit that has become unhealthy, a conversation that needs to be had, or even as small as just needing to stop and take a rest due to being emotionally, physically, or spiritually drained.

Just because something isn’t bad or is even deemed as “good”, doesn’t mean it is good for YOU.

I love you all, and encourage you to not be afraid of change. Don’t settle for justifying your actions with laxatives, when God has more in store for you. In the mean time, I will work on my literal cheese addiction.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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